For Your Consideration

Muscle Cars, Classic Cars and the Rule of 365

When it comes to muscle and classic cars, I am neither here nor there.  I am not the type of guy who can afford a “Barrett Jackson” quality car, nor can I stand to see an old car rot away unloved. 

I actually find myself hating guys at both ends of the old car spectrum.  It rattles my chains to have the prices of cars I would love to have, go through the roof because somebody is purchasing “an investment”.  Worse yet is the guy who believes junk cars make good lawn ornaments.

If you are any kind of car buff, you know the guy I am talking about.  The guy who believes he is doing you a favor if he nods to acknowledge your passing on the street.  And through some cosmic loophole, the ass ends up with half a dozen cars that would be prime candidates for restoration.  That is of course if he wasn’t foaming at the mouth with greed.

Like some mad leprechaun he believes he is sitting on a pot of gold.  Actually he would be, if he did something (ANYTHING) to protect and restore them.  But no, he allows the sun to fry what remains of the paint and interior, the vegetation to weave an iron grip around the frame and axles.  He allows rain to enter through missing or busted windows and rust to wreak havoc on the body panels until they resemble rust red lace panties.  All the while he sends anyone offering to buy one packing, saying he wouldn’t sell them for anything under what’s listed in the Kelley Blue Book’s top retail listing for the same car in showroom condition.

To end this travesty, I propose “The Law of 365”.  Under my law, if a car, over 20 years old, sits for over 365 days and the owner has done nothing to improve the vehicle…you can claim it at no cost!

Yep, that’s right, you can swoop in like Health and Welfare and remove the car like it was a neglected child.  Take it home, clean it up, pamper it and provide it a good loving home and healthy environment. 

I still need to work out the particulars, like actually PROVING nothing was done to the car for a year and perhaps a background check for the new owner, and more importantly, how not to get shot while claiming the car.  But it could be done.  Heck, a sharp lawyer could get it passed in a heartbeat, probably under some community beautification or renewal type of deal.

Email your Congressmen.  See if we can get it passed.

Until then, if you live near Boise, Idaho and have a muscle or classic car you have neglected for over a year and wish to voluntarily relinquish ownership, let me know.  I’d be happy to volunteer as a pioneer for this law!

If I actually end up with a couple cars my wife is gonna kill me.  Oh well, it’s a risk I’ll just have to take.

Halloween, the Great Pumpkin and Me

It’s Friday, my sister-in law and her daughter are here to visit.  The “CIA Leak” Grand Jury is preparing to announce possible indictments, the “Oil for Food” mess gets deeper, Miers is out of the running, and to top it off…last night the news reported they are looking for a man who exposed himself to three young girls.  They were walking home from the Elementary School my son goes to and also walks home from.  So my head is fried.  I think I’ll give my fevered little brain a rest, kick back and enjoy the kids; maybe we’ll carve the pumpkins tonight.  So, no news is good news today.  Today you get some holiday thoughts to start your weekend.

Halloween is my favorite holiday, bar none.  Those out there who decry Halloween as a satanic holiday can kiss my “Great Pumpkin”.

52 weeks a year Sunday is devoted to worship, plus Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving.  I have absolutely no problem with that.  But it chaps me that those that scream the loudest, seem to be totally ignorant to the fact that Halloween has both Celtic pagan and Christian roots.

In fact the very name Halloween is a shortened form of All Hallows Even, or Holy Evening, a Christian holiday celebrating Saints.  Moved from its original date of celebration by then Pope Gregory IV.  A day set aside to celebrate the dead, or more accurately, the lives of the dead.

Sure, it’s been commercialized and sanitized.  But it still maintains traditions with our distant past and beliefs of our ancestors.  Not a bad thing in my opinion. “Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it”.

Besides, is it such a bad thing to take one day a year to reflect on the darker, macabre side of our lives, or to make mockery our common fear of things that go bump in the night?  Certainly we benefit from the way the holiday fires up our imaginations. 

On Halloween we can be anything and we take a moment to wonder.  A moment to wonder about things.  Things that may or may not be.  Things and concepts larger than us and larger than life.  That split second of wonder is about as close to being a kid again as many of us will ever get.  Taking that away should be criminal.

So I think celebrating Halloween is just fine.  Each year I line the pockets of farmers who grow pumpkins and companies that produce Vampire Teeth and all manner of plastic decorations which glow-in-the-dark.

I adorn my home these items and my children adorn themselves in the attire of those they admire.  This year’s evil, satanic costumes are Batman and Elmo.  I then escort them out into a world temporarily laid bare for all to see.  The good, bad and ugly. 

They aren't’t too afraid, I am there with them and the lure of peanut butter cups is a highly motivating incentive.

Sex Offenders and Sympathy for The Devil

My state of residence, Idaho, is one of several that have recently been in the news for the actions of violent sex offenders.

In May of this year, in the northern portion of Idaho, a mother, her boyfriend and 13-year-old son were bound and beaten to death.  The two younger children, a boy and girl were abducted.  They were sexually assaulted and the boy later murdered.  After a massive manhunt the girl was recovered and her alleged abductor, Joseph Duncan III, was apprehended.

Duncan was a known sex offender.

On the 19^th of this month another sex offender, wanted in both the state of Florida and the state of California was arrested within sight of my home.  Marvin J. Williams was quite literally caught with his pants down.  He was observed by an alert resident that saw him masturbating, while hiding between parked cars.  At the time Williams was watching young children playing on a trampoline in their yard.  Residents chased him down and held him until the police could arrive.  One resident had armed himself with a bat.  I would have been tempted to use the bat to dish out a bit of vigilante justice.

Now the local paper has put out a story of a known sex offender, William Lightner, who cut off his tracking device and fled the country, only to be arrested and returned to Idaho. http://www.idahostatesman.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20051026/NEWS01/510260321 

Lightner had been serving a prison sentence for lewd and lascivious conduct with a 12-year-old girl.  He was released early.  Paroled with 8 years remaining of his sentence.

Lightner’s beef?  He was “forced” to flee.  It seems he was having a difficult time finding housing which was not within the vicinity of schools, parks and daycare centers.  He was also being evicted and was having difficulty trying to find someone who would rent to him. The state Probation and Parole Office claims to have been trying to help him find a solution to his housing problems.

Instead of trying to work things out, Lightner fled.  Now he’s back, and sniveling about how unfairly he has been treated.   It seems people who would like to protect their children, landlords who may not wish to rent to sex offenders (a sound business decision at minimum), and the laws of this state are to blame for Lightner’s predicament.

That my friends, is one of the largest mouthfuls of excrement I have had the displeasure of hearing.  At the root of Mr. Lightner’s problems is his conscious decision to molest a young girl.  To disregard our laws and a young girl’s vulnerability.  Lightner’s problems are a direct result of his actions, and the blame should rest squarely on his shoulders.

Lighner had the opportunity to live his life without any restrictions not placed on any other citizen.  He chose to violate a child.  He was given a 2^nd chance to return to society (8 years early), only this time he had to conduct himself within strict guidelines.  It seems he either could not or would not be confined to those restrictions.  So he is now back in prison, blaming you and me.

I don’t accept one bit of his blame.  Not an ounce, not one word of it and won’t allow the ACLU to serve it to me on a silver platter either.

Mr. Lightner gave up his rights for just a few moments of sexual gratification with a child and now he is whining about it.

Lightner, Duncan and Williams are the type of individuals that make me long for the days when the French maintained the dreaded and feared penal colony in Guiana, Devil’s Island.

Protecting Your Rights and the Rights of Others

I enjoy debating with my wife.  Not just because she is stubborn enough to make it challenging, but also because every so often, I win one.

One in particular has stuck with her, and she asked me to write something about it on the blog.  I consider her merely asking, a compliment on a grand scale.

I do not recall exactly what ignited our debate, but something had gotten her all fired up.  I am certain it was somebody or group with a special interest axe to grind.  It was generated from some comment or opinion they had expressed.  The kind of thing they think is awfully witty or intelligent.  The kind of thing that leaves most people, who have any common sense, speechless for a moment.  A moment where you wonder “Is this for real?  Surely this is a joke”.  You wait for the John Stewart’s Daily Show type of punch line, which never comes.

It really upset her.  She went on about how they should basically “shut the hell up”.  Seeing this I decided to throw fuel on the fire.  I played the Devil’s Advocate and I defended the idiots.  I defended their right to speak their opinion.  She went nearly berserk.  I was really enjoying myself now!  She knew I should have disagreed with their opinion, and in fact I did, very strongly.  Yet, I continued to defend them and tell her she was wrong about wanting to silence their opinion.  It only took her a minute or two to realize I was making a point and demanded to know what could possibly make me take a stand defending someone I obviously disagreed with.

So I pulled up a quote on the computer.  As she read it, her perspective changed.  The change in her facial expression was wonderful.  Much like in the animated Christmas classic, when “the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t of before”.   I was delighted it affected her as much as it had me.  The first time I read it, my blood ran cold.  The quote is attributed to Pastor Martin Niemoller who allegedly wrote it sometime shortly after the Nazi’s rise to power in Germany. 

There is perhaps no better quote to support our 1^st Amendment rights and of our responsibility to support the rights of those with whom we disagree.

For those of you who have already heard it, let it be a reminder.  For those who have not, let it open your hearts and change your lives.  As you read it, remember it was written in a time, when the Nazi death camps were used to silence those who opposed the Nazis.

“First they came for the communists,
I did not speak out
because I was not a communist.

When they came for the social democrats,
I did not speak out
because I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for the Jews
I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew;

And when they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.”

I know all of you have strong opinions on a wide variety of subjects, I urge you to raise your voices and be heard.  I for one am sick and tired of being labeled as part of the “silent majority”. 

There are those among us who would deny you of your rights.  I see and hear them on the TV and radio daily.  If you fail to stand up and be counted, if you fail to stand up for the rights of everyone (even the extreme right or left wing factions) it is only a matter of time before they come to stamp out your rights.

Small Businesses (Screwing Ourselves Over)

A number of years ago, my wife started her own business.  We managed to survive the critical time frame during which the experts say most new businesses fail.  It now seems the most difficult problem we continue to encounter, is employees.

Don’t get me wrong…99% of our employees are great.  They are competent, loyal and really don’t require too much to get the job done.  It is the remaining 1% that has consistently caused 99% of the problems.

My biggest concern is that we, as small business owners, are screwing each other and ourselves over by allowing the situation to continue.  These “Bad Pennies” either quit or are fired and they move on to positions in other companies, or leech off unemployment insurance.  Mostly this occurs because we are unwilling to give each other accurate and detailed evaluations of our former employees.  Why, because we fear being sued.

When we call to check out a potential employee’s former jobs, we get a careful tap dance.  They are unwilling to say anything specific about their former employee.  Oh we get the old… “Yes, he/she worked here.  He/She was with our company for X amount of months.  Their ending salary was blah, blah, blah”.  But almost never get the full story.  I am ashamed to admit that as a small business we follow along in this careful word game.  The worst we will generally say is…”No, we wouldn’t hire them again”.

Our last foray into this nightmarish issue was the worst.  I will not name him, so we are not sued into oblivion.  He seemed great at first.  He worked hard at appearing to be nice, polite, competent and honest.  He was none of these things.  In fact, if he expended half the effort to actually BE these things, instead of just maintaining the appearance, he probably would have worked out ok.

Shortly after being hired we were made aware of a number of garnishments on his pay.  So we dealt with that. 

Once established, we now had to deal with his personal issues.  He wove a complex heart-tugging tale, and being human, we bought into it.  We felt sorry for him.  We bent over backwards. 

He was arrested for driving on a suspended license.  Lacking funds he requested an advance on his pay.  Stupidly, we gave him one. 

Within days he quit and walked out with no notice, while we were away from the office.

After he left, we all informally discussed him and a large number of inconsistencies in his stories and performance became very apparent.  We had purchased a revolver he said he was selling for a terminally ill friend.  In light of the new information, a queasy feeling washed over my wife and I.  We took the gun to the Police Station and discovered the revolver had been stolen in a home burglary.  His level of involvement in the burglary or lack thereof is yet to be determined by Police Investigators.

In the following days matters got worse.  He falsely filed for Unemployment.  When he was denied that, he attempted to file a bogus Workers Compensation claim.  A claim that has since also been denied.  It also turns out that we should have given half of the money, he was advanced, to the state garnishing his pay.  That was our mistake and we ended up having to cut a check to the state for that amount.  All on behalf of an employee that had walked out with no notice, owing us work or money for what we have advanced him.

We got hit hard.  It was a painful lesson I would rather of avoided.  A lesson I hope you can learn on my dime.  I’m certain it could have been avoided, if we small businesses could only be straightforward about former employees.  But I cannot expect you to put your business at risk by doing so.  So I ask one thing.  Simply state that you “would not hire the employee again”.  I’ll take your word for it.

I promise we will extend the same courtesy.

Bush, Katrina and Wilma

Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.  In the coming days, criticism of the Bush Administration is going to reach a crescendo.  As I write this, Wilma is having her way with Florida, and the Bush administration is going to take a hit as well.

It is inevitable.  After the delays in responding effectively to Katrina (a task I am uncertain could have been accomplished by anyone), the mad scramble to lay blame, and following political firestorm which reached “Category 5” at least, Wilma is the last thing anyone needed…unless of course, you hate the Bush administration so violently you’re willing to lose innocent lives, so that you may lay the blame at his feet.

If so, you are in luck.  Bush is caught between and rock and a hard place.  If the government fails to respond effectively to Wilma, you will be able to say they learned nothing from Katrina and are woefully incompetent.  If they do respond well, it will be said it is because he favors the state his brother, Jeb Bush, governs and white retirees over the black population of New Orleans and Mississippi.  All this, even though hurricanes have a marked lack of regard for race, gender or political affiliation. 

Never mind that we have yet to be able to control weather, that warnings were broadcast days in advance, that the infrastructure in New Orleans is and has been a known weak spot. 

Disregard all the factors, political and physical, which stymied relief efforts following Katrina.

Ignore the fact that the Florida, Texas, the entire Gulf Coast and Eastern Seaboard have always been subjected to the fury of hurricanes.  They know and have known.  The have paid horrible prices in lives and property in previous hurricanes.  They have been forced to bury their dead, pick up the pieces and rebuild their lives from scratch.

Time and time again, residents of these areas have had to wiped away bitter tears, rolled up their sleeves and have gone about the business of starting again.  I don’t know how they do it.  I can only assume the warm sun and sea breezes fade the memories, like it does the interiors’ of their cars.  They will (and should) receive help.  They will get help from both from the Government (billions to date) and from your generosity.  Your dollars put into the jar at the office or local store for hurricane relief. 

The only things that have changed are politics and public perception.  If you hate Bush, I am certain you will mourn the end of the hurricane season.  Don’t despair…the crippling snow storms of winter are only months away.

Please continue to give generously to relief efforts and do not let politics prevent you from lending a much-needed hand.

Crime and a Sign of the Times

My Stolen Mower

Mowing my lawn is a coping mechanism for me.  When things get hectic, I mow the lawn to regain my sense of control.  Alone with my thoughts, in my envelope of 4-cycle noise and exhaust, mowing the heads off those pesky dandelions calms me down.  To ensure I am able to maintain some sort of functional level of sanity, my wife purchased me a GOOD lawnmower.  It had all the bells and whistles.  It was self-propelled, mulched, bagged and even had an electric key start.  I loved it.

Until it was stolen.

I had allowed it to sit all winter without removing the fuel.  As a result the fuel turned to varnish and clogged the carberator.  So being the cheap bugger I am, I elected to repair it myself.  I dismantled the carburetor.  When putting it back together I damaged the plastic needle valve.  Disgusted, I threw it in the back of my truck to take it to someone who knew what the hell they were doing, to fix it.  I never got the chance.  Overnight someone stole it out of the back of my truck.

I was livid.  My therapeutic toy had been swiped.  Unable to dispel my demons, I flew into the type of cursing fit my wife, children and friends find both highly amusing and deeply disturbing.  The thief was long gone with my purloined mower and the dandelions mocked me from their temporary safety.

To alleviate my anger, I made a sign.  A big sign, to which I attached a plastic baggy with the carburetor parts that I had removed from the mower…and I posted it prominently on the tree in front of my home.

It was one of the best things I have ever done.  While my wife and two eldest boys were mortified by the abomination I posted, my neighbors were not.  Traffic literally came to a stand still on my street, as cars slowed, stopped, and turned around to read the sign.  People living nearby heard tales of the sign and changed the route of their evening walks just to come by and see it.   Days later when trying to get the police report number the dispatcher knew of my sign.  She explained that upon hearing of the sign, Officers made it a point to come by and view it themselves.  Four or five times a day for the next week my doorbell rang.  Upon answering the door I was greeted by wonderful people, I had never met, telling me how much they loved my sign.  I met good people.  I heard of many thefts in the neighborhood, we swapped stories, and vowed to look out for each other.

It seems to have worked.  Thefts seem to have slowed in my area.  I never did recover my nice mower; I ended up replacing it with a basic used one.  So I am at least able to continue my self-therapy and the dandelions no longer mock me.

Bush, Rove and the Honorable Thing

Tom Delay makes his first court appearance this morning, and though the events are unrelated, it got me thinking about Bush’s Senior Advisor, Karl Rove.

Rove is deeply involved in allegations that he may have released the identity of, CIA undercover operative, Valerie Plame.  The whole thing is made more credible by the fact that Plame’s husband, Matthew Cooper, is a Time magazine reporter who has been highly critical of the Bush administration.

In our current situation, we absolutely need to support our Intelligence Agencies.  Anyone, who releases an operative’s name, should be hung out to dry, after being found guilty.  I am a firm believer that we need to operate under the assumption that everyone is innocent until proven guilty.  Despite knee jerk public opinion of both sides of the political aisle, it seems we are technically protecting that basic ideal.  Rove has appeared a number of times before a Grand Jury trying to determine if in fact, any law was broken and if so was Rove responsible.  We’ll just have to wait and see.

All that is well and good, but public opinion counts…a lot.  Now, President Bush has proven that he is extremely loyal to his friends and staff.  So loyal, that he seems to be willing to subject himself to intense critisism on their behalf.  That type of loyalty is a rare and admirable trait.  Except in this case, I believe the President alienated the CIA by choosing loyalty to Rove over loyalty to those working undercover.  I imagine all those loyal, undercover CIA Operatives, still working in harm’s way, are highly critical of any support given to anyone who endangers them and their families by releasing their identities. 

And that brings me back full circle to Rove.  In a few older movies I have watched, there were scenes, which updated the old practice of Hari Kiri, a ritual suicide for some act of great disgrace, dishonor or the death of one’s master.  These scenes generally involved a handgun and a single bullet.  Now, unlike some of you, I don’t think Rove should have to go that far.  But I will say that if Rove had half the loyalty to President Bush, that Bush has shown for him, that guilty or not, Rove should have done “The Honorable Thing” and stepped down voluntarily.

To get a better handle on my point of view, you should know I was assigned duties to protect an undercover operative, working on drug cases and drug interdiction.  The bond I formed with this man has lasted ever since.  He no longer works in law enforcement or undercover, so I can release his name.  He is both my friend and sponsor of this website, Dave Lakhani.  To get a perspective on how he applies his unique experiences to business, check out his website www.boldapproach.com or his blog www.howtopersuade.com 

The Cheeseburger Bill (Would You Like Fries With That?)

Junk Food Junkies (I may not be their King, but I at least qualify for a Cabinet position) are breathing a sigh of relief.

Congress just passed the “Cheeseburger Bill”, which blocks people from suing fast food restaurants for their obesity.  Praise to God and pass the catsup!

Can you believe some people actually wanted to sue these fast food chains, claiming their food is responsible for making them fat, instead of taking charge of their own personal responsibility and control?

I love fast food.  I eat it frequently.  In fact I like my cheeseburgers with double meat, cheese and bacon, especially if the grease runs down my arms to my elbows.  It is a guilty pleasure, to be certain.  But it is entirely my choice.  I have yet to have a crack assault team of grill cooks, clad in orange and brown uniforms, abduct me, whisk me off to an undisclosed location and feed me burgers under the threat of violence.  Not that I’d mind very much.  The simple fact is that I am responsible for what goes in my mouth, around my belly and on my hips.  I have both healthy and not so healthy options.  It is up to me.

With this mind set, I am glad to see Congress pass something that has some semblance of common sense.

Imagine if they had allowed these types of lawsuits to proceed…Every yahoo who was diagnosed with high cholesterol or heart disease would be standing in line at the courthouse.  If I just wanted to line my pockets, I could over eat and join in the class action suit.  Hell, I wouldn’t even have to chop off a finger to swindle a couple hundred thousand bucks from Wendy’s.

The chains would eventually close and the economy would collapse.  All those new jobs created in the last few years would vaporize and the unemployment would skyrocket.  You couldn’t build enough Wal-Mart’s to employ a fraction of what the fast food industry employs.

I suspect I would have been okay; I actually would’ve probably done quite well.  I think I would have become very active in the underground fast food movement.  Maybe I would’ve opened a fast food speakeasy.  What do you thing of “Black-Market Burgers” as a name?

General Motors' Bankruptcy Problems

GMAC is a monster.  They finance homes, autos and businesses, are into real estate, financial services and insurance.  Under the General Motors banner they also make cars, lots of them.  So why, until yesterday, was GM so close to filing for bankruptcy?  I could spout off about intense competition, labor unions, our aging workforce, their retirement and pension polices and various other factors, if I had any clue about those things. So if I tried to intelligently discuss those factors, I’d stumble and fall, face first, into my own BS...

So I will stick to what I DO know. 

There are a few key factors that somehow this corporate behemoth has overlooked…

1. AC Delco, a division of GM, is the bane of human existence.  They manufacture after market parts, components and electronics used in GM and other vehicles.  I am convinced my children could produce better parts with Elmer’s glue and Popsicle sticks.  I have owned seven GM vehicles and with the money I have had to spend to repair and replace assorted switches, pumps, climate control systems, and power window motors, I could have purchased 3 more of their damned cars for an even ten.  The problems seem to have gotten consistently worse.  The newer the car, the more stuff that fails.

2. Unlike other manufacturers who have successfully reintroduced retro versions of once popular cars, GM elects to either bastardize once glorious nameplates by slapping them on the side of uninspired and equally uninspiring newer sedans (i.e. Impala, Malibu and Monte Carlo).  As if that wasn’t bad enough, they add insult to injury by also applying the once coveted SS (Super Sport) badges to some of these miscarriages (I would accused Dodge of the same with the new Charger, but those things are flat out FAST!  One gave my leadfooted wife a decent run for the money in her Vette.  Can you say Hemi?).  Two of their newest gems, are the underpowered SSR Pickup, and incestuous cousin the HHR SUV.  The SSR is doomed to fail.  Its market is far too limited.  A two seat, small pickup truck.  GM should have learned from the Plymouth Prowler.

3. With the notable exception of Cadillac vehicles, the bulbous, swoopy school of design, enamored with clunky plastic body side molding has spread over GM lines like the Chicken Pox.  I suspect it had a great deal to do with the demise of Oldsmobile and the Camaro and Firebird getting the axe.  Why Pontiac (The worst offender), and Buick have not yet ended up in a coffin of “Body Cladding” is totally beyond me.

I know I am disregarding a great many other factors that come into play here, and I truly hope GM is able to turn things around and thrive.  Their CEO announced yesterday he and other top execs would be taking significant pay cuts.  A good start, but to buy them enough time to address their ugly cars and other issues, GM needs to be at the top of their game.  A place they haven’t been in years.  If they don’t do something soon “The Heartbeat of America” is gonna go flatline on us.  Until then, I suppose they will continue to produce cars with little heart or soul and styling that resembles the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

A similar tactic worked for Chrysler’s bankruptcy in the 80’s.  We can thank the hideous little “K” Car for saving Chrysler.  Perhaps it’s just too late in the game and the hybrids and electrics will rule the earth sooner than I thought.  But morbid curiosity makes me wonder which unloved, little car GM is betting their future on?