When it comes to muscle and classic cars, I am neither here nor there. I am not the type of guy who can afford a “Barrett Jackson” quality car, nor can I stand to see an old car rot away unloved.
I actually find myself hating guys at both ends of the old car spectrum. It rattles my chains to have the prices of cars I would love to have, go through the roof because somebody is purchasing “an investment”. Worse yet is the guy who believes junk cars make good lawn ornaments.
If you are any kind of car buff, you know the guy I am talking about. The guy who believes he is doing you a favor if he nods to acknowledge your passing on the street. And through some cosmic loophole, the ass ends up with half a dozen cars that would be prime candidates for restoration. That is of course if he wasn’t foaming at the mouth with greed.
Like some mad leprechaun he believes he is sitting on a pot of gold. Actually he would be, if he did something (ANYTHING) to protect and restore them. But no, he allows the sun to fry what remains of the paint and interior, the vegetation to weave an iron grip around the frame and axles. He allows rain to enter through missing or busted windows and rust to wreak havoc on the body panels until they resemble rust red lace panties. All the while he sends anyone offering to buy one packing, saying he wouldn’t sell them for anything under what’s listed in the Kelley Blue Book’s top retail listing for the same car in showroom condition.
To end this travesty, I propose “The Law of 365”. Under my law, if a car, over 20 years old, sits for over 365 days and the owner has done nothing to improve the vehicle…you can claim it at no cost!
Yep, that’s right, you can swoop in like Health and Welfare and remove the car like it was a neglected child. Take it home, clean it up, pamper it and provide it a good loving home and healthy environment.
I still need to work out the particulars, like actually PROVING nothing was done to the car for a year and perhaps a background check for the new owner, and more importantly, how not to get shot while claiming the car. But it could be done. Heck, a sharp lawyer could get it passed in a heartbeat, probably under some community beautification or renewal type of deal.
Email your Congressmen. See if we can get it passed.
Until then, if you live near Boise, Idaho and have a muscle or classic car you have neglected for over a year and wish to voluntarily relinquish ownership, let me know. I’d be happy to volunteer as a pioneer for this law!
If I actually end up with a couple cars my wife is gonna kill me. Oh well, it’s a risk I’ll just have to take.
Love your thoughts on my old cars in my yard. Hate the thought of you or someone taking away my dreams and as it would seem yours too. With out these old cars you would not have the abilty to dream how it would look on you. A sad thought for you and many like you i am sure. Also a thought that should be considered, would be the loss of the redneck bill of right, "thus to have cars in your yard instead of flowers". Just the idea of the redneck lost of rights reflects on your article of be heard. oh yes and you may not have my cars with out the lead first. So come packing and ready for a redneck hoedown. joe
Posted by: unknowen | October 31, 2005 at 09:09 AM
"Hey Joe, where you going with that gun in your hand?"
Just looking out for the rights of those wonderful cars. Understand I would never hope to deprive you or your cars, so long as you did ANYTHING to protect them from the elements.
If you don't mind I'll pass on the lead poisoning and would much rather buy you a beer and work out a amiable business deal.
Here's to Happy Motoring
Posted by: TownCrier | October 31, 2005 at 10:11 AM