For Your Consideration

Da' Bomb Hot Sauce

I can be a bit sadomasochistic at times.  One of the things sure to bring out these tendencies in me…is hot sauce.

I enjoy spicy foods and hot sauce.  My wife is learning but still shakes her head at me when I find myself writhing around on a restaurant floor, rendered nearly blind and incapacitated by high doses of hot Chinese mustard or a wicked blend of hot pepper sauce.

My close friend Dave Lakhani shares this disorder.  On one memorable trip to a local burrito joint we stumbled across their “Wall O’ Death”.  A small multi-tiered shelf lined with various bottles of liquid pain.

Grinning like village idiots we grabbed every bottle we could find with a skull or stern warning label.  We hurried back to the table and began sampling the evil concoctions on tortilla chips while we waited for our food.  We were doing fine until we got to one called Da’ Bomb by Original Juan. 

Unlike some hot sauces which are just about heat, Da’ Bomb had flavor.  Then it hits you.  Oh man does it hit you!  Both of us grabbed our cokes and started munching chips dry to try to alleviate the pain.  Never before have I been so anxious for my entrée to arrive.

So at the first opportunity we purchased some to share with our other friends.  It has since been responsible for all sorts of hilarity.  We used it as a party joke that resulted in Dave being repeatedly struck and slapped by an adventurous young woman he convinced to try it.  We introduced it to our friend Steve who ended up having to sit quietly clutching his chest for half an hour and one unfortunate husband of a co-worker who after consuming about a teaspoon worth of the stuff, ended up being taken home and his wife gave serious consideration to taking him to the emergency room.

The small bottle of Da’ Bomb lasted a long time.  That is until my teenaged son got hold of it.  He introduced his younger brother to it.  I ended up having to use Chloraseptic throat spray to numb his mouth.  It later traveled with my son to his Jr. High School, which very nearly earned him a suspension.

Despite all this, I highly recommend Da’ Bomb for my more adventurous readers.  A single drop adds a nice flavor and heat to your food, and if you have a macho village idiot, like me in your life, you may want to have a bit of cruel fun.

Several versions are now available to overcome even the most bulletproof palette.  I personally prefer the tamer, red “Beyond Insanity” version for it’s initial burst of flavor before it renders you useless.

Bush (Hitler?) On Trial For War Crimes?

The flap over a Parsippany High School’s mock trial of President Bush for war crimes has me a little twisted.

Personally I think it is insulting to the Office of the President.  On the other hand, I also think it is a way to spur freethinking and debate among the students, except that guilt is implied here and the whole thing lacks the fairness and impartiality of a moderated debate.

Pointing this out as an example of “liberal bias” among educators is merely pointing out the obvious.  If you want an easy way to determine the political slant of your children’s educators…just drive through the faculty parking lot.  Take note of the high number of Hondas, Subarus and VW Beetles and Vans.  If that isn’t enough for you, read the bumper stickers…”Don’t Blame Me, I Voted For Kerry”  “Bush Lied” and my personal favorite “Bush Has The One Ring.  Frodo Has Failed”. All are prominently displayed themes.

Or just track the political donations made by Teachers Unions.  Not that I blame teachers.  I blame conservatives for not being more involved in the education process.  Conservatives have failed to balance the scales.

So of course we will end up with a highly biased view of politics, mock war crimes trials and some highly educated but worldly naïve teacher comparing the US President to Adolf Hitler.  I suppose if you were a card-carrying member of the Taliban I could understand the comparisons better.  It is when those comparisons are made by educated, gainfully employed American citizens, enjoying the freedoms and opportunities provided by our country, that I get a little wrapped around the axles.

So far as I understand it now, the mock trail will still be held but no verdict will be handed down…how lame is that?  If you are going to do it…go all the way and let the chips fall where they may.  It’s no better than the United Nations handing out sanctions and then declining to enforce them for over a decade.

There really is no place in our high schools for this kind of crap.  Teach the kids HOW to think and not WHAT to think.  Feel free to express your opinion and politics on your own time and not on the taxpayer’s dime.

Finally Some Good News!

I have finally come out on the positive end of reseach study!  It is very refreshing to hear something other than being chastised about my food choices, smoking, career choices, my ethnicity, sex and family tree all being big ten penny nails in my future coffin.

It seems a little cushion can do a guy some good, under certain circumstances anyway...

WEDNESDAY, March 1 (HealthDay News) -- New research suggests that a few extra pounds can be good for you -- if you're male and unlucky enough to be in a car accident, that is.  (Click for full story)

Considering the vast amount of lethal influences I have accepted and sometimes welcomed into my life...I'll happily take any good news I can get!

Internet Billing Reform (The "Pay Per Click" Rape of the Consumer)

I hope to start this morning by getting all of you as mad as hell.  If you have not heard of the billing “reforms” currently being considered by Internet service providers and telecom companies, you need to look into it and get involved.  Fast!

Currently I use cable Internet access.  I pay a flat access fee and can surf whatever I wish, as long as I wish and it’s covered.  I like it that way.  It’s nice not to have to worry about overage minutes, extra charges or if I’m surfing the web during evenings and weekends like with cell phones.

Well that is about to change if the service providers have their way.  They hope to change their billing depending on the content you surf and number of clicks.  A “Pay by Click” scheme.  They hope to be allowed to charge Internet users more for those who download music, movies, games and use VoIP (voice over internet protocol).  In essence, use more bandwidth…pay more.

Sounds fair enough…right?

Horseshit!

It seems your monthly access fee in addition to the cut they get from advertisers for their numerous banners, pop-ups, pop-unders, data mining cookies and the sale of your email address is not lining their pockets quickly enough.

This in addition to some ISPs now offering a service to mass e-mailers to allow their junk mail to skate directly though their spam filters if they pay a fee!  Lovely.  I can hardly wait to hear about all the hot selling stocks, herbal Viagra, and ways to enlarge my penis these mass e-mailers have to offer me.

If they were really worried about bandwidth they would clamp down on spam e-emails and prevent pop-up and pop-under web pages (some so prolific they actually require you to shut down your system because you cannot close them fast enough to prevent a system overload {try surfing some racier material if you don’t know what I’m talking about}).

Instead they plan on clamping down of your wallet, and the consumers, small businesses and users of VoIP will suffer the worst.

Don’t believe the whitewash about “fairness in billing or bandwidth issues”.  It’s about MORE MONEY.

I currently pay for cable access speeds whether I use it to its fullest extent or not.  Just like I paid for a car capable of traveling over a hundred miles per hour even though I rarely get over 80 MPH and average somewhere around 37 MPH according to the trip computer.  They are pocketing the money we all pay for bandwidth we aren’t using.  Let them be satisfied with that!